User Profile

I was born and raised in Alaska, I have some background and training in computer related sciences, including web page design and programming. I have a broad range of general interests ranging from psychology, math, religion, mysticism, equestrian, skiing, martial skills, drawing, creative writing, reading, role-playing and various other subjects. I have acquired some skill in the art of massage over the years, and enjoy games of skill, such as chess.


I think of myself as a student of the theory and science of magickal arts, not so much of a practitioner... although that too may change through my own personal exploration and growth. I've dabbled and experimented a little here and there. I seem to have some affinity with vivid imagery, healing, and weather manipulation, but mostly, I enjoy the study of what is commonly referred to as the occult sciences. I think I may be too disinterested for any real affinity with divination, so that is likely my weakest area.

My spiritual development and background consists of growing up with two types of agnostics. On my mother's side, they admittedly didn't know, but demanded proof before they would give weight to or believe anything, a scientific mindset lacking entirely in any kind of faith. My father's side typically also didn't know, but didn't care either, the overall philosophy was "I'm doing the best I can to live as good a life I can, and IF there are any higher powers out there watching and judging, well they can just go f*** off".

As a youth, I had a particular interest in psychic phenomena and the potential of the human mind, but I didn't really believe in magick at that time, and my conception of a witch was right out of the Wizard of Oz.

Around the age of 13-14, I met my first real witch, Erika, and she blew away all of my previous juvenile and naive misconceptions. She never wore black... in fact it was rare that she didn't look like a walking rainbow with a myriad of eccentric colors in her clothing. She had hundreds of crystals, every window was filled, candles of every color, stones and metals of every type, herb I hadn't even heard of, cats (of course), and a library of books on mysticism and the occult... shelves upon shelves of them. Everything from spellbooks to Kabalah to paranormal phenomena to psychic development to just about every occult topic there was with the single exception of Wicca... I don't believe that I saw a single book about Wicca in her entire library. Erika identified herself as a Jewish Witch.

I remember that she once asked me with a twinkle in her eye if I knew what real witches used brooms for. When I admitted that I didn't know, she replied with a smile, "Sweeping the floor, of course."

I loved going over to her house when I could to just peruse her library and read through some of her books, and this was my first steps into studying the occult.

It's been over 20 years since my friend Erika moved to California and I lost contact with her, and I miss her lively eccentricities and wealth of occult knowledge.

I dabbled with some of the psychic development exercises, studied a bit on the nature of herbs and stones, examined the structure of rituals and the philosophies behind them, and then tore some apart and rebuilt them with changes here and there to achieve a different end or change to focus of the spell. Most of my work has either been meditative or psychic-type development or academic as opposed to practiced when it comes to rituals or spell casting.

I used to think that one should only cast spells only when there is dire need. But I've changed my mind since then, and especially for the serious practitioner.

I've heard the arguments:
You should be self reliant as much as possible.
Don't use magick as a crutch.
Practicing magick can be hazardous if you don't take in all considerations.
It will be forcing your will on something which may come back on you.
...and a hundred other reasons on why not to actively use and practice magick on a regular basis.

Then I started thinking about what I know, practicing and using magick is akin to physical exercise, but for your magickal aptitude instead. Then I realized these seemed to be just like those excuses as to why we don't get off the couch and go work out physically.

To really be good at something, you have to use it and practice it.

Is it manipulative? Yes, it manipulates... but so does turning the key in the ignition of my car, putting it in gear and applying pressure to the gas pedal. so does putting one step in front of the other in order to change your location through the simple act of walking. We are constantly manipulating our environment and the way we think... and there is nothing wrong with that, it is how we grow and develop. How is it different if magick is employed instead?

Is there risk? Yes, there is risk in all thing... crossing the street, driving a car, walking on a sidewalk... a person's life could end at any moment in any of those latter simple, yet mundane, tasks... do we let it stop us from doing it? Or do we accept the inherent risks and take what precautions as we can to minimize them.

Although, I'll admit that I've spent a lot of my life with these preconceived notions, and I'm only recently feeling that I was grossly in err on my reluctance to even try. I think pride was getting in my way too, I wanted to feel that I could do something on my own under conventional and mundane methods rather than turning to spells and magick. Some part of me would accuse me for being a failure if I gave in.

I think that I'm on a self-realization breakthrough as I seem to be getting over that mindset now though, and realizing that the magick worked would be an extension of myself and is just another way of accomplishing the same ends. A tool instead of a crutch, and it is still me that is doing it.

My own personal agnostic viewpoint sees the concept of deity as a magical construct and tool that has been granted weight, power, and personality of its own through the will and rituals of their followers and believers. In other words, I would hold that sentient life that has the will to channel the unknown and unmanifest and make it manifest came before the more abstract form of deity.

Effectively any Magickal Construct that is recognized as Deity IS what they are described as being and would believe that to be true for themselves because that is part of what makes them what they are. they are draw from that unmanefest realm of all possibilities where all things exist simultaneously and is the substance of dreams. And in that infinite well is a God named Manon that is exactly as described in the movie, "The Craft", and was only waiting to be realized and made real in our manifest universe.

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